


Manic Depression

by MelancholicYuu



Category: D. Gray-man
Genre: F/F, Genderbending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-19 23:43:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16544597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelancholicYuu/pseuds/MelancholicYuu
Summary: Kanda has a manic episode





	1. Chapter 1

Kanda fidgeted in her seat. She felt restricted by the skirt she was in and her sweater, though soft and fluffy, was making her heat up. Her thoughts were going a mile a minute, and she couldn’t focus on one thing for very long. She had grand ideas about a story she could write, or a song she could compose. Kanda wanted to learn guitar, and needed to buy one right now. But Ellen was waiting on her, and she couldn’t move from her bus seat. 

The world seemed so wonderful and brightly colored. The stars were dancing all around Kanda, showing their pretty lights and engulfing Kanda’s very being. She had never seen such beauty before. Kanda got up to dance when the bus driver announced her stop. She pranced off the bus while wishing the driver a good day. As she walked to the park, she hummed a tune that she had heard on the radio earlier that day.

She saw Ellen sitting at the bench near the playground and ran over to see her. Kanda clapped her hand on Ellen’s shoulder and shouted,” Boo!”

Ellen jumped at the sudden contact, and turned around to face Kanda. Immediately after seeing the smile on Kanda’s face, she knew something was wrong.

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Ellen inquired. She wrapped her arms around Kanda as Kanda plopped in her lap.

“The world is such a marvelous place! Can you believe the stars are dancing? I’ve got the most wonderful idea for a song!” Kanda talked on, and her words became jumbled up until they were unintelligible. 

Ellen thought hard about what to do. Should she commit her to the psych ward, or watch over her? Ellen thought about the last time that Kanda was manic and the low that followed lasted for months. It was in that moment when Kanda started moving around in her lap and tried to kiss her that Ellen decided that Kanda needed to be taken to the ward. 

“Kanda, I have to make a phone call. I need you to hold my hand, okay?” Ellen soothed.

Kanda nodded her head vigorously. She started looking at the stars that were dancing around her, and became entranced by their movement.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Hi, my girlfriend is manic, and I don’t know how to calm her down. We need help.”

“How do you know she’s manic?”

“She has all this energy, her speech is rapid, and she’s talking about things that don’t make sense. Now she’s looking all around her as if she sees something   
that’s not there.”

“Okay, we’ll send and EMS to your location. Where are you?”

“We are at Poinsette Park.”

“Help is on the way.”

“Alright, thank you.”

Ellen hung up the phone, and attempted to talk to Kanda, but she seemed so far away at this moment. She was talking to something that wasn’t there, and 

Ellen knew that this time it would be a long time before she would be released. 

Moments later, the ambulance arrived and hauled Kanda into the back without much protest. Kanda walked in a dazed stupor and was moving her arms above her head rapidly. The crew realized that she needed to be strapped down, so they went to go get the gurney out of the back of the ambulance.

“We’ll need you to come with us. We normally don’t let non-family members ride in the back, but you have to fill out her paperwork because she is physically unable to right now.”

“That’s fine,” Ellen said as she climbed into the back of the ambulance. Kanda’s eyes were rapidly looking around and she kept throwing her arms up. 

Ellen felt completely helpless as the crew strapped Kanda down on the gurney. The men weren’t forceful by any means, but they were firm in strapping her down. 

Ellen forced back her feelings, and began filling out the paperwork to the best of her ability. As Ellen was nearing the last of the paperwork the ambulance stopped. The back doors swung open and revealed the emergency room.

“Can I stay with her?” Ellen asked.

“Only family is allowed back with her.”

“I’m the closest she has to family. Her parents are dead.”

“I suppose we can make an exception, but eventually she’ll have to go into the ward without you.”

“I know,” Ellen said. She followed Kanda’s gurney into the emergency room, and into a room that had been prepared for them ahead of time. Kanda was still trying to move her arms up, and her face looked elated. 

Ellen sat down next to her and grabbed her hand. 

They were in for a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

“I can’t believe I did that,” Kanda said. She moved to sit down on the chair next to the wall phone. She started picking at the scrubs she was in.

“It’s okay Kanda. It’s something that can’t be helped. Were you taking your medicine?” Ellen asked. This question had been bothering Ellen for the past week, and Kanda had been too manic to talk on the phone about serious topics. 

“I stopped taking it,” Kanda muttered.

“I’m not going to ask why you did that, because I’m sure you have your reasons. But, I hope you know that you can’t do that anymore.”

“I know, but I just felt like I didn’t need them anymore. I felt fine.”

“You felt fine because you were on medication.:

“I know, I know. It was stupid. But I won’t stop taking what they have me on now.”

“What do they have you on?”

“I take 900 mg of Lithium in the morning and at night. I hate that they take blood work though. They also have me on trazidone for sleep. I don’t need it now though. Ellen, I feel a depression coming one and it scares me.”

“Have you told the doctor?”

“Not yet, the psychiatrist hasn’t seen me today.”

“Do you know when you will?”

“Sometime after lunch. Speaking of which what are you doing up so early? It’s not even nine yet.”

“I saved the hospital number on my phone, so I heard the phone go off and thought it was you.”

“Ah. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. I hope you’re not mad that I called the ambulance.”

“No, I’m not mad. I was out of control. But Ellen, it was the most beautiful experience. The stars danced with me and everything was alright with the world. I  
actually find myself missing it.”

“That’s dangerous. I know that’s how you feel, but you can’t stop taking your medication in order to feel like that again.”

“I know. I would be playing Russian Roulette. At least you were there.”

“I’m glad I was. Who knows what could have happened if you weren’t coming to see me.”

“I’m sorry I ruined date night.”

“Kanda, it’s okay. I would rather see you safe.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you.”

“Do you think you can bring me some clothes? I’m getting tired of wearing these scrubs.”

“I’ll drop some off before I go into work today.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”

“I think I’m going to go get ready for the day. I need to get another nicotine patch. Hey! Do you think you can also bring me some books?”

“Sure. Which ones do you want?”

“I’m feeling Walden, Candide, and Pride and Prejudice.”

“Classics, nice. I wish I could read up on your level.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course. You’re the smartest person I know.”

“Thank you. I’ve got to go now, I’ll call you after I get out of therapy.”

“Alright. I love you, and I’ll bring your things in the next thirty minutes.”

“I love you too and thank you.”

“Bye-Bye.’’

‘Bye.”

Kanda hung up the phone and walked to the couches that lined the living area of the ward. The TV was on, blaring out the morning news. She went and got herself a cup of coffee and sat down on one of the couches.

“Med time!” one of the nurses shouted.

Kanda got up off the couch and sauntered over to the med window. There wasn’t a lot of people in the ward, so the line wasn’t long.

When Kanda got up to the front of the line, the nurse scanned her bracelet and brought out the cup of medicine, Kanda noticed there was an extra pill in the cup.

“What’s this new medicine?” Kanda asked.

“One is Lithium, the other is diazepam.”

“Why am I being prescribed Valium?”

“Well, have you been having anxiety? The doctor ordered it.”

“He didn’t tell me this.”

“Well, I would still take it. Perhaps he noticed that you were having anxiety and prescribed it for you. Maybe he did tell you and you just forgot?”

“Maybe he did, my memory hasn’t been very good these past few days.”

“It’s alright. You’re just getting used to your medicine.”

“Thanks,” Kanda said and swallowed her pills.

Kanda moved away from the counter and went to go drink the rest of her coffee. The day was going to be a long one, but at least Ellen was going to bring her books to read.


End file.
